I have been on an uphill climb for almost a year now. It has been emotionally taxing, mentally frustrating and physically draining. I am absolutely exhausted. And there is no end in sight. I have started wondering recently – how the hell am I holding it all together? I am so close to losing it. It would be so easy to give up, to slip into depression or lose myself in some unhealthy addiction. But I don’t. How come? Who knows? Maybe because I’m not that kind of person. Maybe because I’m really scared that if that happens, that’s it. I’ve lost. Whatever reason, it’s a mystery and I’m grateful for it. Some days I am so tired of fighting. I know it will pass and I’ll get my 2nd wind and keep going but how many times have I done this in the past 10 months? A shitload. Maybe deep down I really believe that something amazing awaits or maybe I’m just fooling myself. Either way, tomorrow is another day and another battle and somehow I will find the energy .I am not a quitter and I will never give in but sometimes I am SO tempted.

So is life.